Horseface Steve: Bleeding Deacon

I attended a speaker discussion meeting this morning. The format is for a speaker to read a couple of passages from the Big Book and then share for about fifteen minutes. At that point the floor is opened up for a general discussion on the chosen topic. It's a big meeting for 7:30 AM on a Saturday. Apparently it's a lot easier to get up when you don't have a blinding headache from a night of carousing.


At the table in front of me a guy was reading the newspaper as he waited for the meeting to start. Unfortunately for both of us he continued to read the newspaper after the proceedings got under way. Normally, I look favorably on reading of any kind, but during a meeting I'm less charitably disposed. If you want to read the newspaper, fine, go somewhere else and read the newspaper. This isn't Program etiquette per se; it's normal courtesy. There's a speaker who is sharing from the heart about deeply personal matters and I'm going to sit there and read the sports page? It's rude. It's like saying I'm not going to let someone talking about their recovery from alcoholism interrupt my analysis of last night's box score.

Now the quandary: run my mouth or practice acceptance? Not much of a quandary, actually. My mouth is always turned on. It's always running. All I have to do is stomp on the accelerator and I lay rubber for 50 yards, even if there's only 40 yards of asphalt between me and a brick wall. I closed my eyes, began to breathe deeply, and tried to meditate away my self-righteous indignation. This is a meeting, for god's sake. I'm here to get better, not worse. I don't want to increase my agitation.

Finally, I take a peek and see that the guy next to him has picked up a section. I floor it. I lean in, quietly, discreet: "Are you kidding me? You're reading the newspaper?" The original antagonist starts to smile at the joke then realizes I'm serious, looks back down at the paper. Number Two sets down his section.
The ringleader cracks: "Well, you got one of us to stop."
"Hey, 50% isn't bad," I retort.


I'm furious at this point. I hear nothing for 10 minutes but the raging argument in my head as I plan how I'm going to slice this guy to pieces after the meeting ends. He very deliberately reads the newspaper for the entire meeting but I can see he's pissed. One table over is a woman attending her first meeting. What is the message there? That it's OK to read? Maybe we should turn a TV on in the corner. Maybe everyone at the speaker's table should bring reading material. I-pods, cell phones, it's all on the table.

I did manage to get my emotions under control. The woman talking did a fine job and this stimulated a good conversation about the topic. But what was right? Is it my responsibility to say something? Nobody else did. But, you know, I really am pretty passionate about this Program. I think we need to show some restraint but we do need to make sure the thing works right.

I'm glad I did it.