HATE and love

Hate:  Abhor; abominate; despise; detest; loath.
Love: Affectionate, benevolent care or concern for other people or beings, and for their well-being.

My go-to dictionary is Wikipedia.  I was quite amused to find a mountain of definitions for hate and almost nothing for love.  In fact, Wikipedia didn't even have a section listing synonyms for love.  They threw in the towel.  They seemed to be saying: "Ah, we don't know what it means, either.  Leave us alone."

There are a lot of anecdotal accounts about word usage in different cultures.  For instance, Eskimos have tons of words for "snow" but very few for "hot."  I bet they have a lot more definitions than a Bedouin tribe living in the Sahara, a group that probably has a million ways to describe "sandstorm."

This doesn't seem to be a great reflection on our culture.  "I DESPISE you" packs a wallop; "My attitude toward you is benevolent" is weak.  I was trying to figure out how I would define love recently - I couldn't come up with a snappy one word.  All of my definitions were long-winded and labored.

I realize I have written about my sponsor Kenner and the messages he passed along to me when he was dying of cancer a few years back.  I spoke to him every day for a couple of months, the conversations getting more and more esoteric as time marched on.  I chalk some of this up to the cancer overwhelming his systems and the rest up to the sedatives he was taking to alleviate the pain.  He began to talk a lot about God and love; in fact, he became quite sure God was simply a manifestation of pure love, quite a stretch for a guy who grew up in a conservative, organized religion that had a billion rules for everything.  It was one of the greatest lessons I've ever received.

So I've thrown the word "love" around pretty liberally since Kenner died.  I've come to believe that there are types of love, levels of intensity and feeling.  Sometimes I say it quickly and sometimes it takes me a long time.  I do not, however, feel obligated to reach some benchmark before I can tell someone I love them.  A lot of people return the compliment but plenty don't, and I know that a lot of these people love me anyway.  I'm not offended or disappointed when it doesn't come back to me.  It's my gift to give away.  The giving makes me happy, not the possibility of receiving.

I Came Up With This On My Own. Seriously.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,
even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive God to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.