The Sound of Silence

Plague: Anything that afflicts or troubles; calamity; scourge.

Serenity Stan and I were having a discussion about a shortcoming that torments both of us like one of the Biblical plagues. I'm not talking one of the minor plagues like locusts or water turning to blood or frogs, either. I just came back from The Jungle. I can handle a few frogs. Now if it was snakes or those mosquitoes the size of small fixed wing aircraft, OK, I might feel some trepidation. My personal plagues are more of the major variety: incurable boils or pestilence or death. I wish my shortcomings were as inconsequential as locusts.

Stan and I have this bad habit of talking. Almost nothing good results when I talk. I usually say something when the situation calls for silence and I don't speak up when action is required. But when I have fallen under the influence of strong emotions of any kind (and by "strong emotions" I mean "runaway anger") then things really get interesting. Permit me to me work up a good justified anger and I lose all control of my mouth muscles. There is no discernible connection between the higher processing centers in my brain and my lips.

Stan was sharing the details of an incident where someone behaved atrociously and it affected his serenity. So he said something. Then he called to talk about it. Very few of us call to talk about anything before we act, even though that would be the recommended method. Mind you, I was more than totally sympathetic. This individual deserved to hear what Stan had to say, and a lot more, in my opinion. Secretly, I was cheering him on. My temper is lurking just beneath the surface like a plague of frogs itching to overrun the area. It's not gone. It's just that I have managed to build a much stronger cage over the years. Stan whipped his frogs into a frenzy and then sent them out into the world. It's weirdly satisfying unleashing a plague. It makes me feel powerful.

Stan wondered if he needed to make an amends. My experience is that if you think you need to make an amends, you need to make an amends.