Fun at the Border

Inconvenient: Not favorable to one's comfort; difficult to do, use, or get to; causing trouble, bother, work, etc.

We took a day trip while in Belize to visit Tikal, a famous Mayan ruin in Guatemala. We had to pass through security and customs at the border, which looked like something out of a spaghetti Western. It wasn't a very efficient process (by "efficient" I mean "not inconveniencing me at all.") We had to get out of the truck and stand in line in kind of a utility shed with a concrete floor to pay money for this privilege. We got back in the truck, drove thirty feet, parked wherever we could wedge the vehicle, and got into line in kind of an open airplane hanger structure. A customs official (and by "official" I mean "someone who is working with teenagers in army uniforms holding sawed off shotguns") furiously stamped my documents while holding a staccato conversation in Spanish with a colleague while ignoring me completely. That was OK -- I was keeping an eye on the teenagers. Someone whose colleagues are holding sawed off shotguns has my full attention and complete respect.


Finally, she stopped and looked at me. "$3," she said. Irritated at the delay for such a ridiculously small amount of money, which I resented having to pay to someone not treating me with the respect to which I am entitled, I opened my mouth to comment on how inconvenient this was for me and remembered the phrase "restraint of tongue in pen when in the company of teenagers holding guns" and returned to the truck. I left SuperK in line. "She can come up with her own entrance fee," I thought. After all, it was three dollars. We had one last document check before we entered a country that probably doesn't have to worry about waves of people trying to sneak in.


"Hold on a second, Alfredo," I said to our guide. "I want to suggest some ways to improve this process. Stop at any one of the teenagers, preferably one with an Uzi and not a chintzy sawed off shotgun." I had some very good ideas how they could do it better. Surely they wanted to hear my ideas. Everybody thinks my ideas are great. They love it when I tell them how they are doing it wrong and how to improve it, whatever it is.

Alfredo didn't look my way as he gunned the engine and accelerated into Guatemala.