I'd Advise Against It

Advise: Implies the making of recommendations as to a course of action by someone with actual or supposed knowledge, experience, etc.

It has come to my attention that people are not interested in my advice, despite the fact that I am a Senior Advisor. As one who knows everything there is to know, who is never wrong and always right, who can immediately find the solution to the most difficult problem, who can divine the correct course of action for every man, woman and child -- I find this vexing.

I'm the Answer Man. Just ask me - I'll tell you. I can answer any question as long as you aren't interested in the truth or concerned with wisdom and sound judgement. Actually, I'm the Wrong Answer Man. I don't have a clue. I can't go from A to B. I can't find the on switch. But that has never stopped me from trying to run the world.

In sobriety I have learned never to give advice to someone who doesn't ask for it. Each of us is free to live our lives how we choose. When someone tells me what they have already done, I figure they aren't looking for my advice. I figure they would have called before they did what they have already done if they wanted to hear what I had to say. Even then I don't think they want to know.

That's alright. We're nothing more than children trying to grow up. My early mentors tried to keep me in the vicinity of the right path and then let me wander off on my own. I learned a lot of lessons by sticking a metal fork into a live electrical outlet.

ZZZTTT.