Chemical Stevie

I'm basically made up of a lot of holes. Big holes. Big, big, really gigantic holes. If I peel back my T-shirt a hole is exposed that appears to be a portal into an endless galaxy millions of light years across. I could start to throw stuff into this space time continuum and never fill up the tiniest little corner. I'm not sure that the thing even has an end.

Actually, the truth of the matter is that there is no one-size-fits-all hole. I have nurtured and developed a lot of specialty holes. There are many templates available for easy installation. There are drug and alcohol holes. These, thankfully, I have sealed up with some really excellent quality cement. There are cigarette holes and coffee holes and food holes. Some of these I have tried to cleverly cover up with cement colored cheesecloth. It's pretty easy to peel back a corner and toss a couple of pots of coffee in. There are sex holes, exercise holes, and work holes. I have been actively engaged in making these holes bigger, for god's sake.

The thing is I'm uncomfortable with how I feel. I want to feel different. I don't really care if I feel better -- although that is preferable -- just as long as it's different. Caffeine, nicotine, endorphins, sugar. All of it reacts with my body to change how I feel.

Different is the thing. Different is good.