Mothers-In-Law

Tolerance: An acceptance of or patience with the beliefs, opinions, or practices of others.

Rose talked a while about her family life.  It made me appreciate my family life more, I'll tell you that.  And it gave me an appreciation of what we must go through in order to grow.  I am a big fan of the idea that I will magically transform, losing what I don't like about myself and gaining what I lack.  That it hasn't worked like that yet is so much fluff, in my opinion.

Rose is married and has a son.  In Vietnam the woman always moves in with the man's family. Always.  And in this arrangement the mother-in-law rules the roost.  I mean she is judge, jury, and executioner.  I'm sure - as in life - there are plenty of good, decent mothers-in-law, a few superstar mothers-in-law, and some real bitches out there, too.  

On our rickshaw ride I noticed some small hotels that had signs advertising hourly rates.  "Great," I thought.  "They're rickshawing us through the red light district."  Rose explains that these are called privacy rooms so that married couples, jammed in small houses with all manner of children and in-laws lurking about, have someplace they can go to . . . well, I'll let you figure that out.  I have enough trouble performing capably in that arena - the thought of the possibility of my mother-in-law listening in . . . brrrrrr.

Rose is somewhat unusual in that she works - she likes her job, she likes being around people, and she's really great at it, probably the best guide we had on the trip.  When she's working her sister-in-law gets up early, fixes the entire family their morning meal, and then is responsible for keeping the house clean, so when Rose has some time off, all that falls on her shoulders.  She has offered to pay - with her own money - for someone to come in and do this work.  Her mother-in-law flatly refused, proclaiming that she didn't have a daughter and a daughter-in-law just so that a domestic could do the work they were expected to do.  Her husband supports his mother in all matters.

Rose complained about this to her mother.

"Learn to swallow," was her mother's advice.  

I tried to talk some trash while I was swallowing.  Give it a shot.