Flakes and Dudes

An update on one the guys who asked if I would step in as a temporary sponsor . . .  

I learned long ago that most new people are famously unreliable.  They make plans with the best of intentions and then they change their minds, often without alerting the person with whom they've made plans. They just unilaterally change them.  And, to make matters worse, they do this at the last minute.  I always tell new people what I'll be doing, this is my schedule, maybe I'll see you there.  That way, when unreliability kicks in, I don't give a shit because I'm doing what I wanted to do, anyway.

This dude lives near me and a friend of mine in The Program, and he's without transportation at the moment, due to some stupidity and indolence on his part.  I mentioned to my friend that, if he felt like it, the new guy could use an occasional ride.  He started to chuckle and respectfully declined, letting me know in a vague way that he had some history with this guy and didn't care to make any more history with this guy.  I cared not a whit.  Trust me - I got it.

So, I text the new guy to tell him that I would be at our meeting on Thursday, Friday, or Saturday and that we could have coffee afterwards if he wanted to talk and, failing that, I could meet him out in our neighborhood on Sunday if those days didn't work.  I realize it's hard to get around without any transportation but, when I was drinking and using, I got around to drink and use, no problem, every time.  He says that "he'll try to be there Thursday."  He's not there on Thursday.  On Friday he texts that "Sunday works for him."  I briefly considered texting back on Sunday morning to tell him I was unexpectedly engaged - meaning I was so wary of his bullshit already that he appeared to me to be one of those people who "want to want to get sober."  You know - get sober magically without doing any work.  I paused, and let life play out.  I did not hear from him so I didn't have to make up a vague and untrue excuse.  I prefer to tell the truth but sometimes it sounds harsh: "Nah, meet me at a meeting or forget about it, you lazy flake."  

See, that's pretty harsh.  It's true, but unkind.