Show Up or Shut Up

We lost a member of my home group a few weeks ago.  He started attending meetings a couple of years back, bounced in and out for a while, before finally settling in on what looked to be permanent, continuous sobriety, although all of us know that's not set in stone for even people with long-term sobriety.  He was about 50 and had recently lost a lot of weight.  I believe he had a nice drug habit as well.  It looks like he had a heart attack - there were no signs of drug and/or alcohol abuse around - but we never know about that, either.  Years of addiction and lousy life-style choices take their toll.  All of us that knew him have decided to think the most positive thoughts.

There was a funeral and wake yesterday for this man.  In the part of the country where The Old City crouches - admittedly a much more traditional, religious, family-centric region - the event would be packed with members of the groups he regularly attended.  I've told the story many times of declining a suggestion to show up at a member's ceremony with the excuse that funerals "weren't really my thing" and being told, somewhat bluntly, that funerals weren't anyone's thing, that they weren't meant to be parties or some other fun thing.  They were FUNERALS!

Here - not so much.  Out of a rotating membership of 75  people in my home group maybe 8 showed up.  This appalled me.  However, from the dung heap of other people failing to meet my expectations sprang this delicate flower - the attendance of two of the most disruptive, least-liked members of the group there, mentally-challenged people who rub most of us the wrong way, me included.  One guy had made an effort to comb his hair and clean up a bit and didn't let loose the string of expletives that I normally associate with his sharing.

So be it.  I choose to look at the bright side here and avoid the dank.  I don't hold anything against the non-attendees.  I have, however, loaded a rather large howitzer with a rather large high-explosive shell which I will loose upon any non-attendee who voices any negative comments about our disruptive members.

You get to do whatever you like but that doesn't mean I have to like it.