A Mechanical Repeating

Routine:  A set of normal procedures, often performed mechanically.

One of the great things about getting out of my routine is . . . I don't know . . . getting out of my routine.   My life seems to be one, big, existential battle, a life and death struggle, between my love of routine and my love of smashing the shit out of my routine.  I'm comforted by repeating things, especially things that are good for me,  and I'm infuriated by it, too.  I know that routine can be really salutary - think diet and exercise and a strong, regular Program - and blowing right through the routine can be good, too.  I get bored if I do the same stuff over and over.  Then again, routine-crushing makes me appreciate my routine.  See the conundrum?

So I get back from a lovely trip and I start to get back into some regular habits, albeit more and more slowly the older I get.  Those long plane trips and new time zones are increasingly hard on my body.  I'm in the locker room at my swim club, dreading the first session back in the pool, when a dude I know from The Fellowship walks over, asks how I'm doing.  I confess to some Program sluggishness when he blurts out: "I fucked up."  He's wired, almost manic, thinner than I remember, talking a mile a minute about how he's been smoking weed the last six months and his wife has been cheating on him and on and on and on.

Got me back to a meeting the next day, I'll tell you what.

It can go just like that.  Made me appreciate the routine all the more.