Little Johnny

This was the note I sent to the children of my dear, departed sponsor.

Ken was my AA sponsor for the last 25 years.  I spoke with him at least once a week, every week for that entire time, more often when I was first getting sober or when I had upsets in my life, a practice that continued even after I left the area for Vacation City.  He knows more about me than anyone else on this earth.  He was a steady and guiding hand, and I loved him a lot and I'm going to miss him terribly.  

I had the opportunity to speak with him almost daily over the last 4 months.  We talked about death and dying, about god and heaven, about love and service.  He was a great listener over the years so I was thrilled that he also began to share many personal stories about his life during this time, things that I had never heard.  I think it was a way for him to continue letting go.

Today I am  burying my mother who died about 12 hours before Ken.  I imagine that they're up in heaven, having a cup of coffee, and shaking their heads at some boneheaded thing that I'm doing.  If there was one thing that they had in common - besides their deep and enduring faith in the mercy of god - it was that I never, ever, ever heard either of them say anything derogatory about anyone else.  Talk about setting a high standard.

And now a word about Little Johnny.  I didn't grow up Catholic but apparently Little Johnny is a figure of some notoriety in Catholicism, a good-hearted but unpredictable and sometimes profane scamp.  Ken loved Little Johnny stories.  For several years on Thursday night a few of us would go out to supper after taking a meeting to Riverside Jail.  My friend, Little Westside Johnny, and I would trot out our latest Little Johnny joke.  About a quarter of the way through Ken would start to giggle; by the halfway point he was yelling at us to stop or he was going to pee his pants; and well before the end of the joke he would be all the way over at the checkout corner, pounding on a table, tears pouring from his eyes.  I don't think we ever got all the way through one joke - all we had to do was get started - Ken was the show, not Little Johnny.

God speed, Kenner.