Mental Gymnastics

Mental: 1. Done by, or carried on in, the mind.

2. Diseased in mind; mentally ill.


I spend a lot of time conducting furious arguments with bitter rivals in my mind. I'm a brilliant debater when I'm all by myself. Sometimes I just think the arguments and sometimes I mutter them out loud. Occasionally I speak quite clearly, which usually gets SuperK's attention. This is regrettable because I'm not arguing with her, unless I am, at which point I don't want her to hear what I'm saying. Obviously, I don't recommend any of these techniques as a productive way to spend your time.

When I argue with people who aren't actually present I almost always win. The people who aren't there are helpless before the onslaught of my unassailable logic and rapier wit. Currently I'm slicing THE COMPANY and THE BLOWHARD to shreds. I am totally dissecting their ass. If they were actually here they would be pretty unhappy about it. As they are not, in fact, anywhere near my present location they probably aren't too cowed by my brilliance. I haven't started in on THE JACKALS yet but they have been served.

I guess I'm getting it out of my system. I need to make sure that I get it out as quickly as possible. I don't need to marinate in my irritation for a long stretch of time.