Just Rolling Along

I thought about writing some more about THE COMPANY and THE JACKALS today. Mostly I wanted to write about my new territory manager who has some nominal authority over what I do. He surely has the power to make my life uncomfortable, which he will do if it will make his life more comfortable, which seems to be his main goal in life. See? It isn't just alcoholics who engage in the self-centered pursuit of power, sex, and money.

Regrettably I hear the annoying voice of my sponsor in the background, endlessly droning on about "principles before personalities." When I finally asked him what that phrase meant, he said: "Don't talk about people behind their backs." I really want to talk about this guy behind his back; in fact, I did just that while explaining my rationale for not talking about people behind their backs. I want to tell everyone how frustrating the conference call was yesterday, a sentiment shared by the other people on the call, which makes it even more tempting for me to gossip. If I don't like how someone behaves and other people feel the same way, my comfortable sense of smug superiority is overwhelming.

The truth of the matter is that everything is going to be OK. I know this. I did some writing and I talked to my sponsor and a few other program friends, and I got it out of my system. Keeping stuff bottled up really is toxic. I'm not that upset. I've had a nice 10 year run where I've liked my job, been happy with my income, and had a lot of colleagues that I enjoyed working with. That's pretty amazing in this era of rapid change and short-sighted greed. It hardly seems fair for me to raise a big ruckus over how unfairly I'm being treated.

I went to my jail meeting last night with two friends, and we had a Big Book meeting with some guys who really have something to complain about. I listened closely when The Promises were read, marveling at how many of them are part of my life today. My buddies and I went out for dinner afterward and talked about recovery and life in general. Shorty got stuck with a bigger part of the check than he should have, which greatly increased my enjoyment of the evening.

"We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace."