First Is Number One

First: Ranking before all others; foremost in rank, quality, importance, etc.

There was a brand new guy at the meeting this morning. You figure that a person is at least somewhat motivated to show up for his first meeting at 7AM. That's prime hangover time for a lot of us. I didn't get up early to go someplace I didn't want to go to hear things I didn't want to hear from You People on a whim. I waited until I could eat a few aspirin and smoke a joint before I strolled in, which was not in the morning in the time zone that I was living in. People in The Program were the enemy when I was drinking and I needed to be good and ready. Hand to hand combat was a distinct possibility.

I don't think I have done anything in my life quite so momentous as to step into my first meeting. I did a lot of things that required a total lack of regard for my own well-being but nothing quite as brave as coming in to see You People. I had no idea what to expect. I didn't know if there were rules I had to follow, a time clock to punch, secret codes or handshakes to learn. I wasn't sure what was in the coffee pot.

I found myself laughing at some of the recollections. I remember hearing this: We have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that there is a solution. The bad news is that it's us. When I mentioned that I wasn't sure if I was an alcoholic, You People assured me that I would do until one came along. My first sponsor suggested this as a litmus test: Ask yourself if you have ever been to, or are now in, a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. If you can answer yes, you're probably an alcoholic.

People that don't have a drinking problem don't wonder if they have a drinking problem. They don't think about not drinking. They drink, or they don't drink. They don't plan it and they don't worry about not getting enough. I drank more alcohol before the parties and events that I drank way too much at.

I go to meetings today because I don't want to be the New Guy ever again.