Here's my acid test for speaking to someone else and this is especially salient when I disapprove of this individual's behavior:
Does it need to be said by me?
Does it need to be said right now?
I mentioned this friend who seems to be overly preoccupied with women. I thought long and hard about how I could broach this subject with him without violating the tenents of my most important personal codes: Stay the fuck out of everyone else's business. With many of my insignificant and minor conundrums I ask my god to help me act if and when such a time arrived and, otherwise, keep my trap shut. Usually, this time never presents itself, validating another of my personal codes: No one wants your opinion. Consequently, not saying anything is often the wisest thing I can do. So I get my jacket out of my car on Saturday and we don't even get across the street before he starts quipping on the topic. You know . . . sometimes the message about what I should do comes in loud and clear.
"What could be more tiring that seeing ourselves in whatever direction we turned? If we had nothing to challenge our views, would we ever think more deeply, rise higher? It is not our differences that make the difficulty in the world but our prejudices against difference." Cherokee Lady
I get this. I surrounded myself with other dysfunctional people to mask my own dysfunction. I enjoyed bitching with these ne'er-do-wells about how The System was screwing us, how The Man was out to get us. I didn't have a Voice of Reason saying something along the lines of "Fuck you talkin' about?" or "Fuck's the matter with you?" Trenchant wisdom along those lines.
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