It's Never Too Late to Start

A dear friend of mine told me recently that he had started on a program of self-improvement that included meditation.  Naturally, I was stoked.  I sent the following note to him:

"Super psyched to hear about your incursion into self-help.  I would be more generous and call it a start on an enhanced spiritual life and a more satisfying and enlightening journey I can not imagine.  I was happy to hear that your instructor emphasized some regulation (not control! never control!) of your thought process and that most of us use awareness of the breath as a great starting point.  The past is gone forever and the future may never come so why spend a lot of time there?  Obviously we all have to make plans but my problem comes when I plan results instead of taking a step forward and seeing what happens.  If I had to sum up the whole philosophy of AA in a couple of words I'd use our beloved One Day At A Time slogan.  You're no doubt seeing that we can distill that down to being in the moment and that one of the most powerful ways to get in the moment is to breathe and pay attention.  

I have been meditating for a good thirty years and often laugh at how difficult it can be.  Our minds are made to think and think is what they're going to do, goddammit.  My mind had spent my entire life in control, running hog-wild, and then I decided I'd take back some of that power?  My mind did not/does not want to do that.  I no longer get frustrated about this - I tell new people in AA that if you're trying to meditate, to be present, that you're doing it right, you're doing great, you're in a tiny minority of people walking this Vale of Tears.  It can be especially troublesome for high achievers like us.  Our animal brains - More money!  More power! More sex! - serve an important function by keeping us alive.  When you think about it your needs are enough food and clean water and a safe, warm, dry place to sleep.  Everything else is a want.  I also believe that because these needs are met daily for privileged people like us that our minds start to manufacture crap to worry about.  Fear is a realization of a danger - Anxiety is fear about things that do not exist or that can't be identified.

I'm not religious.  But I am in possession of a spiritual belief in the order and goodness and fairness of the universe.  I'm grateful most of the time.  I'm calm most of the time.  I rarely get angry and this from a man with a fearsome temper.  I chalk it up to walking a spiritual path to the best of my ability.  'Seek to love rather than be loved; Comfort rather than be comforted; and to understand rather than be understood.' "