Must Do or Should Do?

I'm speaking with an old friend who has some long-term sobriety but who has drifted away from any kind of spiritual and recovery practice.  On our weekly phone calls he has thrown a lot of topics at me in a short period of time; so many that I can only speak to a few of them at a time.  I like that I can sit down later on and type up what I hope is a more complete summary of all that came to my mind during the call.  The following is an example:

"I find that I often see what applies to me and relates to my experience after I let thoughts percolate in my mind for a while.  That being said this may or may not apply to you but it is definitely part of my story.  As a Great Thinker, as an Intellectual, and I use that latter phrase as a stand-in for someone who enjoys thinking and not so much as someone who is smart although I am smart as shit.  Just ask me - I'll confirm it.    

I'm glad to hear that you are writing.  I encourage this practice.  I had/have a tendency to hold too many thoughts in my mind at the same time and this can be paralyzing.  I cycle through them over and over without . . . you know . . . doing anything, taking any concrete action.  When I was working and back at my desk the first day after a vacation I'd look at the pile of paperwork, contemplate all of the voice mails and emails, and freeze, unsure how to do it all at once, right away, perfectly.  I got into the habit of making a list - two lists, in fact -  of Must Do and Should Do actions.  It helped to see it, concretely.  It helped organize it in a physical way.  Then I'd do the first thing on the list, to the best of my ability, and often be furious that I couldn't resolve it immediately (person not at their desk, person too busy to talk, person needing to check with someone else).  I learned to take a deep breath and then move on to Task Two.  I did what I could and then I moved on.  I took an action.

There are, of course, no chapters in the Big Book called "Into Thinking" or "More About Thinking"  or  "How We Think."

I find myself getting a little overwhelmed when I hear all that you have going on in your life.  You've got some quick fixes and some big projects.  If one of my tasks is Take Out the Garbage I take out the garbage.  If another is Run A Marathon or Improve My Relationships then that's going to be a long-term project.  The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.

Peace out.  And my goal is always to try to share my experience, strength, and hope.  If it's applicable to your circumstances, fine.  If not, go talk to someone else and see if what they've got to say makes more sense."