Big Hammer Seaweed

 Coffee and some pre-packing before we meet the World Famous Kevin at a coffee shop.  Always great to see old friends and experience that incredibly thin, incredibly long, but incredibly strong thread that exists in these kinds of relationships . . . 

Two Weeks Later . . .

In an interesting happenstance, this man reaches out to me during the trip with a heartfelt admission of some life difficulties that he's experiencing and the fact that he's drifted far enough away from an actual spiritual program that he's not sure where to start to right his listing ship. I hope that I can be of some help going forward.  I ask that my Higher Power show me each day how I can be of service to another person.  I guess this happens from time to time in a significant way although all I’m really asking is to be aware of the small kindnesses I can offer up that constitute the bulk of each day.

I know that he has stayed sober but surmised that he had quit engaging in any kind of organized recovery. Not a mortal sin. Lots of people get sober in Alcoholics Anonymous and then stay sober on their own. I'm not a fan of this technique - it doesn't work for me - but who gives a shit what I'm a fan of? If you are staying sober and you are reasonably happy then you're doing great. To my credit I did not bring any mention whatsoever about recovery when we met. He's a good friend and it was great to see him. I wouldn't be of service if I was intimating that you weren't doing it right and especially if I'm not asked my opinion of whether or not you're doing it right. I think this was a case where silence was indeed golden. I think he saw an ease and peace with SuperK and me that he realized was missing in his life. The tendency in these situations, in my experience, has been a desire to make up for lost ground in huge chunks. Whew, good luck with that. What takes a long time to fuck up takes a long time to repair.

When you undertake a spiritual discipline, frustration comes with the territory. Nothing in our culture or our schooling has taught us to steady and calm our attention. We're kind of a society of attentional spastics. Concentration is never a matter of force or coercion which really pisses me off because I'm a Big Hammer Guy. If it can't be fixed with a Big Hammer then it can't be fixed. This awareness doesn't mean separating myself from experience - it means allowing it and sensing it fully.