If I was ethical I would attribute the following information to a book I'm lifting it out of, verbatim. My meditation has been sucky so I'm rereading one of the many good books that I own and have read, then promptly forgotten about or gotten too lazy to put into practice. Also, I have to catch up with SuperK who is beating me in the meditation competition.
You find yourself heir to an inherent unsatisfactoriness (I mean, is this even a word? Those kooky Buddhists) in life which simply will not go away. There is a vague awareness that something is wrong. You are not really touching life. You feel insulated from the sweetness of experience by some sort of sensory cotton. You are not making it again.
There is a constant undercurrent in every thought and every perception; a little wordless voice at the back of the head that keeps saying, "Not good enough yet. Got to have more. Got to make it better. Got to be better." We get stuck in the "if only" syndrome.
So what is wrong with you? Are you a freak? No. You are only human.
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