We Are Family

I've had some stuff going on with my family lately that hasn't been to my liking. What makes this particularly galling is that I'm the first person in the history of mankind who has had any trouble with family members. Unfortunately, I have to assume that I'm probably a little bit at fault or mostly at fault or completely at fault, given my tendency to make simple situations complicated and annoy people with my passive-aggressive stance on life, or my aggressive stance, depending on the situation. Passive-aggressive is kind of fun in a sneaky, shitty way but it's also great to just let the old temper out of its cage from time to time.

For the most part, I've learned to keep a lid on my complaints when I'm in the public domain. I am grateful for a few close friends that will listen to me vent, even while I'm patting myself on the back for being understanding and considerate and misunderstood. I try not to gossip but realize that I have to get stuff off of my chest, no matter who's at fault, especially since it's usually me. I conveniently ignore the fact that if I'm totally and completely nice and good for the rest of my life, I'm not going to come close to correcting all the damage that I've done in my life. This falls in the category of inconvenient truths.

The thing with families is that we are privy to all kinds of insider information. We get to see these people at their absolute worst from time to time. I have to be careful that when I share the specifics about what is going on that I'm not just writing a Kiss and Tell novel. That's low journalism. And I'm not sure I would want the details of my life spilled out at my mother's church or my sister's PTA meeting. As if anyone would be interested in what I'm up to.

Aren't you just dying to know what I'm irritated about? Probably not, actually. You're thinking about yourselves. In all honesty, the details are so mundane that it would be more unhealthy to share them than to keep them to myself. Suffice it to say that alcoholics aren't the only people who are driven by out-sized desires for more money, more power, more sex.

"But, Mom, he hit me first!"