Johnny Law

I'm really fascinated right now by the concept of The Law. I'm trying to tease out the differences between Johnny Law, The Law of Yahweh, and the good, old clear-cut, common sense Laws of Life. Those Laws that never bend an inch.

I get my hackles up when I'm given a list of Things That I Must Not Do. I'm not crazy about suggestions of how to properly behave, either, but I really don't like to be told No. Take the 10 Commandments, for example. They all make perfect, logical sense but I can't get past the "command" part. How many of us would have gotten sober if Bill and Bob had come up with The 12 Commandments of A.A.? I get all rubbery just thinking about it. We even say that The Steps are "suggested." You don't have to do them. You can come up with something else. Can you imagine "suggesting" that Thou shalt not kill? You can kill if you want to, but it hasn't worked out well for most of us, but, please, go ahead and do whatever you think is best. We don't have all of the answers.

When I was drunk and unhappy, I railed against god, as if he was responsible for my plight. I believe god set up the whole operation, pushed the Start button, then took a smoke break. The Laws of Life are there to follow or ignore as I see fit. I was one of those people screaming at the usher who wouldn't let me into the play I showed up late for, as I stood under the sign reading: "Latecomers seated during first intermission." The usher didn't make the rule. Why was I screaming at the usher? He was handy, that's all.


I like analogies. They make hard concepts simple. They make me relate. I remember my mother telling me not to stick my fork into an electrical outlet. I did it immediately, of course, got shocked on my ass, and was furious at my mother. I ignored the Fourth Commandment of Electricity: Thou Shalt Not Stick Conductive Metal into An Electrical Outlet While Holding on to Same Metal. It wasn't her fault that I got shocked. It was my fault. I spent my drinking years treating people poorly and wallowing in self-centeredness and had no friends. Then I was pissed at god because I was lonely.



Well, no shit, Sherlock