An UnQuiet Mind

Dream: A fond hope or aspiration.

I like to dream. I like that the definition has fond in it, which has an air of foolish tenderness or affection. It's nice to be able to imagine a future where interesting and pleasant things might happen, instead of the nightmarish outcomes that I usually project. Now I imagine disaster only on occasion instead of with obsessive regularity. I can also say that what I do today no longer revolves around a:

Hallucination: The apparent perception of sights, sounds, etc. that are not actually present; it may occur in certain mental conditions.

Drugs had their part in my hallucinations, as did long, steady bouts of drinking. I was starting to hear things at the end. I would go downstairs to complain about my neighbor's TV only to find that no one was at home. So there was no actual TV that I was hearing, which definitely gave me the creeps. I try to avoid the hallucination today; at least I'm alarmed, and rightly so, if one pops up. I shouldn't see people where no people exist, or TVs, either, for that matter. I also believe that when I dream today I'm not dabbling too heavily in the realm of:

Fantasy: An unreal mental image; illusion; phantasm; a whim; queer notion.

Queer and unreal, great. That's just great. I tend to associate fantasy with trolls and hobgoblins, or naked, well-endowed starlets. I would classify as fantasy the satisfaction that I imagine I would surely feel choking the last bit of life out of someone who was annoying the shit out of me by driving poorly or drinking the last bit of milk.


All of this is OK as long as I do not allow myself to become a:

Projectile: An object, as a bullet, shell, rocket, etc. designed to be hurled or shot forward.

The future is the future. All I can do is to take steps to move toward something that interests me or away from something that doesn't, and see what happens. I get myself into trouble when I insist that my dreams come to life. I get into trouble when I project outcomes. I should let god do god's work. Unless I want to continue acting like an:

Idiot: the lowest classification of mental deficiency, below imbecile and moron.

I think my work is done here.