BMOC: Big Man On Campus.
Let's start off with the facts. I'm not a big man on campus. In fact, I was called into the dean's office many years ago and told to get off the campus. I was about 20 lbs underweight because I thought that eating solid food was optional. This looked very nice on my tall, naturally bony/skinny frame. I was going for the Heroin Chic look: gaunt, dull eyes, greasy hair, unsteady gait. Nobody screwed with me, I'll tell you that. They didn't want to catch whatever it was that I had. Now I am a man, although I have a very pronounced feminine side and bet that I would look fantastic in panty hose and cocktail dress.
What does that make me? Not a BMOC that's for sure. I want to make a big splash. I want to be highly visible. I want to donate 10 million dollars and have a hospital wing named after me (The Horseface Steve Memorial Wing for the Advanced Study of The Androgynous), but only if the 10 million was a small part of my vast fortune, leaving me a huge pile of cash for selfish pursuits of the flesh.
One of my favorite hobbies as I flee headlong into the night, screaming at the top of my lungs, is to avoid work. I put on my pork pie hat and mirror shades and head down to a local coffee shop to sit outside, slack-jawed, and watch the traffic go by. I have become friends with the young people who staff the place. Apparently the pork pie hat is not as threatening as Heroin Chic. They seem pleased that I'm there.
This never would have happened in the old days. I wouldn't have made the effort. I looked right through people, partially because I was unable to focus my eyes most of the time, but mostly because I wasn't interested in other people. I didn't really care how anyone else was doing. I discovered that one of the women that I know is an actress. I went to see her in a George Bernard Shaw play last night and she had the lead role, and she wasn't half bad. I'll be able to say something nice to her tomorrow, about something that is important to her.
I never would have known.
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