To wit:
I was loosening up in the club hot tub before my swim yesterday, chatting with a friend, when another dude chimed in with some chit-chatty comments, inoffensive and reasonably pleasant, asking me eventually where I went to school. When I told him he remarked that the best president in U.S. history went there, too. I didn't get the reference but was nonplussed to hear him name someone who I do NOT consider the best president in U.S. history. I have a personal policy of not engaging in political discourse with anyone who is rigid in their beliefs. Life to me has too many gray areas which precludes me from stating with great certainty that this is right and that is not. I'm also impressed with St. Francis' suggestion that I seek to understand rather than be understood so I asked this dude what this president has done that he liked and he rattled off in machine-gun fashion a quick list of partisan news talking points: a mix of fact, fiction, things lacking context, things only looked at from a narrow point of view, conspiracy theory shit, and some complete, total, utter, unadulterated crap gleaned from the farthest reaches of the dark web. When I brought up something that this official said he was going to do but did not do the dude immediately blamed his predecessor. At this point I was recalling why I didn't talk to people about politics when my friend started to engage him in a pretty heated argument and I was able to fade into the bushes. When the dude got out of the hot tub he told my buddy: "Young man, I feel sorry for you," adding a healthy dose of condescension to his previous delusional and mean-spirited remarks.
I swam. I went to the grocery store. I used my phone camera to access a digital coupon that allowed me to buy a six-pack of soda that normally costs $7 for $3. Hmmm. Good deal so I grabbed four of them. Down the aisle a bit I see another digital coupon offering the same savings on a totally different product made by a totally different company. Hmmmmmmm. Three of those go into the cart. After I checked out I noticed I received the discount on five of the six-packs but was charged full price for the other two. Then a series of really frustrating conversations ensued where two different employees explained the discount was good for only five six-packs of any kind of soda. I kept explaining that I had less than five six-packs from two different companies that make two different products but got nowhere. I was quick to assure the two employees that I wasn't mad at them but I was clearly annoyed. To no effect.
Couple of amusing sidebars. Normally I buy two bottles of the soda for about 75% of the price of the six bottles in the six-pack. I know it's foolish but I want a COLD soda RIGHT NOW so I do it all the time and I don't really care about the extra cost. I can afford it and I don't want to wait until I get home to pour a warm soda over ice. The point being that the last six single bottles of soda I bought cost in the neighborhood of $12. So the point is that I'm pissed off at saving $6 on the full price six pack soda. I know this is a lot of math but the point is that I'm insane. The point is that the contentious talk with the hot tub dude had clearly gotten under my skin.
The other thing that pricks me is that I suspect the grocery chains fuck around with the promotions in ways that trick people into overspending. One week the dollar item is fifty cents but you have to buy at least five of them and the next week there's a limit of three and then . . . you get the point. Like I can read the tiny printing on the tiny labels anyhow.
When you run into one asshole in the course of your day you may have run into an asshole. If you run into a second asshole it's starting to look more and more likely that you're the asshole. And if you run into a third asshole then we know who the asshole is.
Annoyed at hot tub dude and annoyed at losing a few bucks on soda I don't need I swing into the clubhouse of our complex because on Thursday management buys some boxes of donuts and I rarely turn down a donut and I never turn down a free donut. There, next to a lot of donuts is a new sign informing the residents that the donuts could no longer be taken home. Yeah, right, Fuck the Rules Guy takes his donut, wraps it up, and starts to walk out, only to hear: "Sir. Sir. I'm sorry you can't take the donuts home" and was surprised to see my next door neighbor, a good neighbor and important friend to SuperK. I thought she was joking. She was not joking, I don't think. I was so sure she was joking that I kept walking with the donut only to have her mention the donut theft again later that day.
I try to be a good resident and neighbor so I knew I'd end up following the new rule but it was annoying, too annoying for it to be a normal reaction to something unimportant. These are sweat-shop donuts mass produced and average in taste and quality. I can afford to buy my own, good donut, maybe at the grocery store that just really irritated me. Anway, only half-joking, I started to float these ideas to SuperK: Standing half-in, half-out of the clubhouse doorway and eating the donut there; taking the donut to the furthest reach of the clubhouse grounds and eating the donut there; taking a donut, eating one bite, and tossing the rest into the garbage, you can see my malevolence is limitless, respecting no bounds.
So this is what 38 years of sobriety can occasionally look like . . . Dammit.
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