Once Again . . .

You never know who you're going to help and it's often hard to know what action or phrase or example someone else finds helpful.  I find that when I think my share just tore it up and blew everyone in the room away I'll be stuck looking at a sea of blank faces in a room full of crickets, and when I feel like I was confused and inarticulate to the point of total incoherence someone will come over, relating on a deep level to my gibberish and thanking me for being helpful.

There's a woman who is going to be celebrating her one year anniversary on Sunday.  I know her primarily because I make it a point to welcome people I don't know - right up to the point of intrusive annoyance - and God help anyone unfortunate to identify as newly sober at my meeting.  I think one of my values to the group is my relentless drive to make everyone feel a part of.  It seems to be mostly appreciated and I know how to read a person's response at this point - I don't hammer away at anyone who seems cool or uninterested in the approach.  This woman is quiet and lacking in confidence even though she has a degree in some arcane physical science and a good job at a biotech company.  I would say we have a passing friendship.  I don't push it.  She's polite but breezes out of the Room after the meeting without a lot of lingering.  So be it and all fine and good and far more common than any other reaction to my unrequesting probing and poking.

On Tuesday she asked if I was going to be at the meeting on Sunday.

"I don't normally come on Sunday," I said.  "Why?  What's up?"

Her one year anniversary/birthday.

"Then I'll come on Sunday," I said.

Good, she said.  Her mother is going to attend, and her boyfriend.  I get the sense she wants to introduce me . . . . as some kind of who the fuck knows what?  Friend?  Mentor?  Counselor?  I don't really know but it means a lot to me that she asked.  I guess I'm providing some support or compassion that she finds important or healthy or something something something.  And again no mention of a father figure.  I see how I'm able to fill different roles for different people.  Today I took a walk with a friend who's several years older than me and also married to a feisty partner.  There was obviously a different vibe to this interaction.