Quotes From the Stories

 "Doctor Bob told me that the first time I drank I turned on a switch and set up a demand for more alcohol.  About this time came increasing procrastination and the avoidance of responsibilities.  I would put off doing anything that I could until the next day and consequently everything would pile up and then there would be the blackout.    I could work a deal up to where all I had to do was to go ahead with it; all the planning had been done, all the financing had been done, but then I'd say, 'Nuts to it!' and walk away.  Near success, only near."   

Boy, the memory of putting a lot of effort into achieving something and then just getting drunk and stoned and pissing the whole thing away.  Those kind of memories still can make me cringe today.  Years and years later and I find myself shaking my head at the insanity of it.

Doctor Bob and Bill W talking to Anonymous Number 3: "It's none of our business about your drinking.  We're not up here trying to take any of your rights or privileges away from you.  Now, if you don't want it we'll not take up your time, and we'll be going and looking for someone else."

For me, that kind of attitude was crack cocaine.  If you told me what to do . . . I didn't do it.   If you told me that what I did was my business only and none of yours . . . I got damn curious.  Most alcoholics respond poorly to authority.  Most alcoholics are defiant in the face of any authority or mandates.

"I still go to meetings, because I like to go.  I meet the people that I like to talk to.  I came into A.A. solely for the purpose of sobriety, but it has been through A.A. that I have found God."

I get the queerest looks when I tell people how long I've been sober and then share how many meetings I still go to.  Maybe I'm just weird looking?  That's plausible, too.

"Rules were made for others, not me."

Man, that's another great line to put on my gravestone.  Special Steve.  Follows the rules unless he doesn't like the rules.  For example, eating a donut in the designated donut-eating zone or redeeming grocery coupons on things designated on the coupon as eligible for a discount.   That kind of stuff. Any rules I don't like will cause me to bang my head against the steel door until you relent or until the flow of blood is so heavy I can't see the door anymore.

Dr. Bob, redux: "So long as I'm thinking as I'm thinking now, and so long as I'm doing the things I'm doing now, I don't believe I'll ever take another drink."  And the man he was talking to: "The important thing was that he was happy.  He was released, relieved from his alcoholism and was happy and contented because of it.  That I shall never forget."      

Another day.  Gotta keep doing what I've been doing.  It's a lot easier but there are no days off.