Freedom From Fear

"When our circumstances happened to be good, we no longer dreaded a change for the worse, for we had learned that these troubles could be turned into great values.  It did not matter too much what our material condition was, but it did matter what our spiritual condition was.  We found that freedom from fear was more important than freedom from want."  Step 12

Toltec wisdom . . . 

"The Angel of Death can teach us to live every day as if it is the  last day  of our  lives, as if there may be no tomorrow.  That is the way I see life, that is what the Angel of Death taught me - to be completely open, to know that there is nothing to be afraid of.  This is what, in the Toltec way, the Angel of Death teaches us.  The Angel of Death comes to us and says,'You see everything that exists here is mine; it is not yours.  Your house, your spouse, your children, your car, your career, your money - everything is mine and I can take it away when I want to, but for now you can use it.' "

When someone I know in recovery is wrapped around the axle about a financial situation I usually say - after gauging the situation carefully, because this comment can be misconstrued as piling on if I'm not delicate  - something along the lines of "Well, it's all God's money.  If he wants some of it he's going to take some of it.  If he wants you to have more he'll give you the opportunity to have more."  I need to hear myself say this, for me, as a reminder that it's all going to go at some point, all of it, everything I have on this Vale of Tears is going to go, so I do my best to appreciate and enjoy all of the blessings I have.

I'm reminded of the thoughts of an emergency worker who spent several hours recovering the bodies of small children who were killed in a bomb explosion after their parents had dropped them off a day care.  He wondered how he left his house that morning.  Were the last words he spoke to his kids kind and loving, or was he annoyed at something insignificant?  I hope that when my time on this Vale of Tears comes to an end that everyone has a smile on their face, courtesy of some loving thing I shared with them.

"Of course I treat the people I love with love because this may be the last day that I can tell you how much I love you.  I don't know if I am going to see you again.  The love that makes me happy is the love that I can share with you.  Why do I need to deny that I love you?  It is not important if you love me back.  I may die tomorrow or you may die tomorrow.  What makes me happy now is to let you know how much I love you."

Reminded also of this ancient Persian Proverb: "We come into the world crying while everyone around us is smiling - may be exit this world smiling while everyone around us is crying."