Torture and Isolation

 "Our growth depends on our mental, physical, and spiritual health.  Yet too often we may spend more time on physical and mental growth than on spiritual growth.  When this  happens, all three suffer."  Anonymous

"There are three things that only God  knows: the beginning of things, the cause of things, and the end of things."  Welsh Proverb

There was a new guy at the meeting today.  The new people don't usually share - we read the second half of Step Five in the 12 & 12 which must sound pretty esoteric to a newcomer - so I almost always interrupt the proceedings before we formally close to ask if they'd like to check in or at least introduce themselves.  He said: "All I can say is after reading from Step Five I'm glad I'm still on Step One."  That got a big laugh.

Last week we read this in Step Five: "What are we likely to receive from Step Five?  For one thing, we shall get rid of that terrible sense of isolation we've always had.  Almost without exception, alcoholics are tortured by loneliness."

Isolation:  Being cut off from others, often involuntarily; being separate and not connected to other things.                                                                                                                                                              Torture:  The action of inflicting severe pain or suffering on someone (Ed. Note: In this case one's own self) as a punishment.

 And at the end of Step Five we receive another unofficial Promise: "This feeling of being at one with God and man, this emerging from isolation through the open and honest sharing of our terrrible burden of guilt, brings us to a resting place where we may prepare ourselves for the following Steps toward a full and meaningful sobriety." 

I really like this idea of a community where distinct individuals strive for the common good, sometimes in conflict with what they want or feel they need to happen to themselves.  This is one way we get comfortable being around other people.  I don't walk around all the time now worrying that someone is going to screw me.  I figure a normal amount of getting screwed is going to come my way regardless of what I do so I might as well take my dose of screwing with cheer and good humor.  The relief is that I'm not so suspicious of everyone, wondering what ulterior motive someone has to screw me over.   Especially since no one is thinking of me.