Bombardment!

 Stress:  A physical, chemical, infective agent aggressing an organism; emotional pressure suffered by a human being or other animal.

I can hear my mother from beyond the grave explaining to me how dire my circumstances are and/or will be from my low back troubles.  Goddamn pain is moving from my mid back to my upper back to my low back in a totally random yet coordinated attack/movement.  I dislike it.  I'm trying to make the best of it but I'm doing a poor job.

I have to be careful that I don't whine about something while making sure I'm getting it out there.  I don't want to say "fine" automatically when someone inquires after my well-being but I don't want to take a normal part of living and elevate it to the level of a nuclear attack.

Every time I talk to someone on the phone they seem to be in worse shape physically than I do.

"Never be too discouraged."

"We reviewed our fears thoroughly.  We put them on paper, even though we had no resentment in connection with them." (Ed. Note:  I think this aspect of the Fourth Step inventory is often overlooked.)

"The minute I stopped fighting or arguing I could begin to see and feel."

Bombard:  To continuously attack something with bombs, missiles, or artillery shells or other projectiles.

"We had not even prayed rightly . .  We had always said 'Grant me my wishes' instead of 'Your will be done.'  At no time had we asked what God's will was for us; instead we had been telling him what it ought to be.  It is when we try to make our will conform with God's that we begin to use it rightly. Our whole trouble had been the misuse of willpower.  We had tried to bombard our problems with it instead of attempting to bring it into agreement with God's intention for us."

I'm not sure that there is a more enlightening, powerful statement in the Big Book than that one.  It affirms that I have a willpower and that it's mine to use - the problem, apparently, is that I use it like a battering ram for my own selfish ends.  I can scarcely get anyone on this green earth to do what I want and I think that - through sheer force of will - I'm going to get God to do what I want?  Whew.