Lost In Space

Loss: The hurtful condition of having lost something or someone.

So my sponsor makes the much deserved and much desired transition from Here to The Big Meeting In The Sky.  My mother passes peacefully as well, not six hours later.

Freaky.  Not a day I'll forget soon.

I'm upset in a diffuse way but not devastated although I'm sure that things will intensify once I'm boots-on-the-ground in The Old City.  I got to talk for many hours with Ken as his cancer made its grim march through his major organ systems.  He was at peace and ready to move on .  I learned a great deal and grew a great deal spiritually during this process, talking openly about death and dying and love and what comes next.  One of my greatest life adventures.  It just goes to show me that I can always be passing along a spiritual message no matter what my circumstances are.

My mama suffered a devastating injury from which she never really recovered.  I didn't get to speak a single word with her after this event but I knew she was pain-free, spiritually and emotionally secure.  She had been having many small ischemic events over the last few months and I worried about her long term well-being - I believe the choice wasn't going to be between recovery and death but somewhere more shadowy and indistinct.  I don't think anyone wants to hang on in a nursing home, greatly diminished.  That being said her passing on may have been a blessing in disguise.

Ken went to a lot of funerals for other residents of his retirement community.  I commented on this once and he replied: "You know, Seaweed, at my age there are a lot more funerals than christenings."

I'll feel the loss of both of these people and I'll feel the loss in different ways.