The Pineapple and Seaweed

I was at the grocery store wandering aimlessly in my beloved Fruits and Vegetables section.  I like to buy fruit and vegetables because it makes me feel superior to other people, even though I like to eat King Dongs and cheddar cheese popcorn dipped in chocolate and deep-fried as much as the next guy.  I selected a pineapple as one of my selections.  When I got to the front of the store there were a few lanes manned by actual check-out people and there was also an endless row of sinister-looking automated check out kiosks.  I chose one of these begrudgingly, aware that I have never yet gotten through one of them with as few as two items without being plagued by some kind of major electronic malfunction.

I was sailing through without a hitch until I got to my last item: The Pineapple.  Fortunately, a tag with a bar code was attached to the fruit.  I scanned my pineapple and noticed that the display displayed a price A Dollar!! more than I had expected.  I called over the woman who was responsible for the auto lanes and asked her to please clarify this outrage.   She picked up a phone and paged what I assume was a very important person in the Fruit and Vegetable section, the one who could tell you if the rutabagas were at peak flavor.  No one returned the call.  After a minute the woman paged again.  The result was the same.  Frankly, I was beginning to regret having wasted some of my Very Precious Time over A Dollar!!

My check out lady finally typed some stuff into the machine and the correct price popped up.

"See," she said.  "You typed in the wrong code."

I was annoyed by now that I had wasted so much of my Very Precious Time so, instead of keeping my $%##! mouth shut over A Dollar!! I pointed out that I had scanned in a bar code that her store had affixed to their piece of fruit.  My tone was somewhat peevish, I should add.

She looked at me and said: "It is $3.99.  You had the wrong code coded in."

I pondered this for an instant.  I found myself wishing that I had a phone to slam down in her ear.  I found myself regretting the self-service kiosk and the pineapple itself, delicious as it would turn out to be.

"See?"  I said.  "Someone typed in the wrong code for me."

This is why I go to meetings and talk to You People.