Horseface Scorsese

Direct: To move, turn, or point (a person or thing) toward a place, object, or goal; aim; head.

I love the section in The Big Book that talks about The Director. There should be a little picture of me on that page, scowling in disgust. The gist of the story is that there is a class of people who insist on getting their own way and they become frustrated and unhappy when they don't. Alcoholics, of course, have subjected this tendency to a strict regime of metabolic steroids. We view the world as a play and we try to control all of the players. What happens? Things don't go very well for our poor director. People don't like to be moved around like chess pieces. So we get upset. If only every one would do exactly what we want them to do we think that we would be happy.

To compound our difficulties the world is packed tight with directors and they aren't limited to alcoholics. There are plenty of people pushing and shoving and trying to get their own way. I have developed a three step technique for dealing with these individuals. I tried to come up with 12 steps but I lost interest and wandered off somewhere for a while. When I got back I forgot what I was doing. There wasn't enough time left to do what I started to do so I quickly made up a few things.

1. Start out with the people pleasing. Do whatever the other directors want you to do. If you don't do what they want these people won't like you any more and where will you be then? You'll be friendless. You'll die alone in a dark and cold place. All alone, all alone.

2. Develop a resentment and decide to go Toe to Toe as your own director. Try to get everyone else to do what you want to do. You can even pretend to be fair when you do this, as in: "Last night we did what you want to do so tonight we get to do what I want to do." Stick to your guns even if you are asking someone to do something that you know they don't want to do. Develop a resentment when they develop a resentment at being forced to do something they don't want to do. Justify your behavior by pointing out that last night you did something you didn't want to do, even though you moaned and bitched and got all passive aggressive about it, and generally made the other person miserable.

3. There really isn't a third step. At this point you should be so disgusted with yourself and your poor behavior that you call your sponsor then go to a meeting.

Sometimes I have to simply separate myself from other individuals. I realize that I can't always do this -- sometimes I have to just endure -- but there are plenty of people that I'm around by choice. If someone doesn't ever give an inch, I go somewhere else.