Flame On!, Inc.

Bridge: A structure built over a river, railroad, highway, etc. to provide a way across for vehicles or pedestrians.


Burn one's bridges: To cut off all of one's ways to retreat.

I am not an expert in many things, but I do have a lot of experience in burning bridges. I once owned a company that was called "Flame On!" I thought the exclamation point was a nice touch. Not only did I burn bridges I made sure that everyone knew I was responsible. I was not modest in my bridge burning escapades. I didn't dress in camouflage fatigues and burn the bridge under cover of darkness. I showed up in a motorcade with The Ohio State University marching band and a bunch of those big inflatable balloons that you see in the Macy's New Year's Day parade, like Woody Woodpecker and Smokey the Fire-Setting Bear. I burned those bridges good. If I didn't get the credit and attention that I thought I deserved, sometimes I went back, built a pontoon bridge on the smoldering embers of the original structure, and burned down that fucking thing, too.


SuperK and I were having a discussion this morning about a meeting she was going to attend with someone who isn't behaving very well. SuperK is quite the bridge burner herself. She doesn't have my flair and overwhelming shock and awe techniques, but she burns bridges quick-like. She doesn't always burn them down completely, but there are a lot of fire damaged bridges in her wake. She has a portable flame-thrower she uses for quick scorchings. I have to get the equipment prepped and staff the operation and coordinate schedules -- it's a whole operation. With her, bridge builders don't know what hit them. "You didn't say that!" I comment all of the time, a little afraid.


I was a little worried about her meeting. I opened the window as she trudged off to catch the bus, leaving me to do whatever it is that I do. I don't waste time any more suggesting prayers or calling of sponsors. I usually get a quick taste of hot, hot flame when I do that.

"Remember," I said. "If people think that you are stupid, open your mouth and remove all doubt."

"Yeah, yeah," she replied.