Where Do They Find These People?

"So what's your part in all of this?"

Whenever I'm ticked off or upset about something I try to share it with my sponsor or one of my recovery paisanos, one of those guys who are decidedly not afraid to say something that they know I don't want to hear. Sometimes I think they enjoy saying something I don't want to hear. At some point in the conversation the comment about my part comes up. I visualize guns, knives, and other heavy weaponry while I think: "My part in this is that I'm not going to pour my hot coffee in your lap." I don't like thinking about my part in anything. My specialty is thinking about your part. I can see the error of your ways.

It gets tricky when I'm dealing with someone who isn't behaving very well. It gets extremely tricky when it's my first encounter with someone who isn't behaving very well. I'm always taken aback when someone isn't very nice or thoughtful, even though I've taken being self-centered to dizzying new heights.

"My part in all of this is that this guy's an asshole." This is all I can come up with some of the time. I mean, it's not like there isn't the odd jerk walking around out there. And everybody gets to have a bad day. When I behave a bad day I want some understanding. When you have a bad day, I want an apology.

Still the solution is in my hands. If I walk up to someone who lets loose a string of obscenities unbidden, a good solution is to skirt this particular individual the next time.

That's a pretty good solution.