I Hate . . . er, Love This Program

Honesty: A refraining from lying, cheating, or stealing.

Sometimes this Program blows me away.

I ran into Shorty and Mrs. Shorty while I was walking to the park this morning. Shorty abandoned his wife to join me which probably wasn't a good choice on his part. Although Mrs. Shorty looked quite relieved to escape his company so maybe I did her a big favor. Maybe he wanted to hook up with someone older so that he could show how fit he was. That wasn't happening mano a mano with his wife.

We were discussing pocketbook honesty. He told of having to call a retailer who mistakenly shipped an extra pair of pants with his order. I was having trouble with a situation where I was accepting a gift that I didn't have any intention of keeping. He thought that was dishonest on my part. I tried to get away from him but he was able to keep up. I didn't want the gift but didn't want to hurt the gifter's feelings. I didn't tell the gifter this, preferring to rely on my telepathic ability to talk to people without speaking. I figure if I think something with enough intensity everyone will pick up on my vibes. I can read your mind so you should be able to read mine.

We parted ways so that I could go to my Saturday morning meeting and out to lunch with a group of guys afterwards. I bought some bread and cheese and a yogurt, and a bottle of crap called Butterbur. I suffer from time to time with seasonal allergies and read in one of my hippie magazines that this alleviates symptoms. Probably not. I probably spent $20 on capsules filled with talcum powder or pencil shavings. I grated my teeth at the cost of the "medicine" but figured if it works it'll be better for me than ingesting manufactured chemicals. I did the math -- 30 cents a pill. A lot cheaper than the Quaaludes I used to buy.

So I got home and the dude behind the counter didn't charge me for the Butterbur.

I hate this Program sometimes.