Welcome to the Grand Illusion

Analysis: A separating or breaking up of any whole into its parts so as to find out their nature, proportion, function, relationship, etc.

The crazy little men who have taken up residence in my head are always exhorting me to analyze the crap out of everything. I want to know why or why not or what the hell? I can't seem to go with the flow. I want to control the flow. I want to understand why I feel the way I feel. I think I can make myself feel better through sheer force of will.

Sometimes I don't feel that great. Most people understand that it's not a big deal to feel a little off. Alcoholics panic. We want to know why. We want to know what to do to feel better, then we worry that the good feelings aren't going to last. We're afraid that we won't ever feel better ever again. We want to fix things. We don't like to feel a little off. We want to feel GOOD. All the time.

This is why my sponsor talks to me as if I'm 10 years old. Because I act like I'm 7 years old.