Walk the Walk

The longer I'm around The Program the more I notice the difference between length of sobriety and quality of sobriety. It's a beautiful thing when the two intersect, as they so often do, but they aren't one and the same, either. There are some people out there who have been sober a long time who don't have what I want. I wouldn't touch their stuff with a ten foot pole, unless the pole was made of gold or precious gems and I could take it home with me and sell it for a profit, less the commission owed the pole-makers union, of course. And a stiff commission it is. I don't begrudge anyone a fair living but the pole makers really have a stranglehold on the market. It's pretty irritating.

I heard a lead last night from a young guy with a couple of years of sobriety. I don't want to suggest that two years is insignificant. My first two years were the longest two years of my life, and not the most pleasant. I was extremely impressed that I had put together two years. This was a pretty big meeting and there were plenty of people in the room who had more time off the juice. This man, however, had a Program. He was doing the work. He was doing the heavy lifting. I personally don't like the heavy lifting. I like light dusting in my pajamas while I'm talking on the phone, hoping someone else will do my heavy lifting for me.

I have to keep in mind that this Program is about the effort. We talk about "Working the Steps" and "trudging the road to Happy Destiny." There are chapters called "How it Works" and "Working with Others." There is no mention of talking or thinking about things, or even feelings. My first sponsor in Chicago used to say: "I don't care how you're feeling. Tell me what you're doing."

He's still sober, by the way.