Oh, No! There Goes Tokyo, Godzilla!

Monster: A person so cruel, wicked, depraved, etc. as to horrify others.

I was having my quiet time this morning, idly mulling over the concept of fear. One might be curious as to why I would be thinking about fear when I am supposed to be talking to my Higher Power and waiting patiently for divine guidance. To this I say: "Shut up." My brain is firmly in control and it goes where it wants to go and does what it wants to do. It has broken the chains that bind it and is terrorizing the countryside.

Actually, I was marveling at how free of fear that I am most of the time. This is what I remember most about my drinking: the constant tugging of anxiety that colored all of my thoughts, the sense that things weren't going to work out very well. I didn't just have monsters in my closet and under my bed -- my closet was a monster with a lot of monsters living inside of it. The whole house was a monster. I was trapped inside a huge monster. Now that's some scary shit. If the stuff going on inside my head ever got out it could slay a whole army of fearsome, vicious monsters. My general monstrosity-ness is impressive.

Today I feel like everything is going to be OK. I'm like everybody else in that I have some problems and I have some things that could turn out to be problems. But I'm not letting that particular group of monsters out this morning. The Program provides me with a powerful package of monster abatement tools.

Now I'm not making any guarantees about an hour from now.