Personality

Personality: The quality or fact of being a particular person; personal identity; individuality.


When I was drinking and taking drugs, I thought that I was a mellow, laid back dude. Nothing bothered me much except for people and most of the circumstances of my life. I was cool. I took it easy. I was so cool that I could fall asleep driving an automobile. I could fall asleep listening to Black Sabbath at a volume that quickly induces paranoia in lab rats. And lab rats are normally pretty tough characters.


The basic disconnect was confusing coolness with an alcohol induced stupor. I wasn't laid back -- I was stoned. There is a big difference between a mild personality and a catatonic drug state. I didn't know who I was. I hadn't allowed my natural personality to surface. Whiskey and LSD will produce that effect in an adolescent. We never take the time to stumble around, trying on different personalities until we find one that fits.



Imagine my surprise to find out that I'm a certified, investment grade, top shelf, Type A personality. I'm competitive and intense. It's not as if I have discovered that I'm not as mellow as I thought I was -- it's that I'm not even remotely mellow. I am the exact opposite of mellow. I've had about six mellow minutes in my whole life. Back in the late 80s, I think. Nothing comes to mind in the last couple of decades.



Who are you?