I'm drawn to pain and discomfort like a drunk to free beer. If I have a sore tooth, I'm going to probe with my tongue until the pain is exquisite. And the only way to make matters worse is to ignore the blessings that I have -- the many blessings, the wealth of blessings -- with a studied cruelty. A mouth full of good teeth and I got to keep touching the one that hurts. "Maybe this time it won't be sore," I think. "Ouch," I say.
My drinking life was full of crisis. I'm highly skilled at damage control. I'm more comfortable, in a weird kind of way, when everything is falling apart around me. So when things are going smoothly, I try to mess them up. It's remarkably hard leaving well enough alone. I feel alive and vibrant when I have some disaster to clean up. I get all jumpy and itchy when life is going well.
Leave that tooth alone.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment