Patience

Patience: Calmly tolerating delay, confusion, inefficiency, etc.; able to wait calmly.

The concept of patience is alien to me. I have trouble saying the word. It sticks in my craw like a big slab of peanut butter. If I try to recall a time or two when I was actually patient, nothing comes to mind. The whole idea is distasteful to me. It has a foul odor and unpleasant feel.

I want what I want when I want it. There is no need to pause and think. I don't have the time to listen to words of counsel from people who are wiser than I am. It's time to go -- right now! Shut up and get the hell out of my way.

The funny thing is that when I act impetuously, the results are usually bad. My judgement sucks. My interpretation of how things are going to work out is terrible. In sobriety I have begun to learn that life has its own rhythm, it's own ebb and flow. When I am unsure of an action and pause for a minute, the answers seem to come to me. Things work out on their own without my constant manipulation. I don't have to force the issue.

Pray for patience and God puts you in long lines.