The Ladies

There has been a group of 30-something women who have been attending my meeting along with a handful of 50-something women who have some decent sobriety time.  They're joined by some long-timers who fill a great need as mentors or A.A. mothers, good stabilizing figures.  Yesterday it so worked out that a number of the younger women were there.  I wish I knew how cute I was when I was thirty.  If you're thirty years old - man or woman - and you don't weigh 800 pounds or have a large cancerous growth bulging out of your neck, then you're cute.

Also in attendance was this one guy who comes for a while, cops a resentment and pitches a bitch, disappears for a bit, then comes back.  I think he's living in his truck.  I'm not sure exactly how sober he is.  He talks a lot and I perceive a lot of skill in manipulating people coming out.  It's okay that he's there and it's kinda okay that he talks a lot but I try to keep my eye on him.  He mentions getting ripped off from time to time and I'm wondering if this is an attempt to generate some pity so that someone kind will give him something.  Like money.  Alcoholics in general have learned how to manipulate people as a naked survival skill and homeless people are in the PhD program for personal manipulation.

After the meeting I saw this ne'er-do-well talking to one of the new women, a striking girl who is the epitome of a California beach girl.  She's a very sweet, kind woman, always eager to please.  As she was leaving the meeting with her girlfriends I stopped her and said: "You don't have to talk to Chris."  She gawked and I repeated myself.  She grabbed my arm and said: "Thank you.  Thank you."  I try to remind women that if they're ever in a position where they feel uncomfortable by the attention of some dude they can excuse themselves politely and say they have to catch up with one of the older members.  Nobody should feel unsafe or uncomfortable in a meeting.  Nobody.  It's not a social club or a dating app.  And this from a guy who has been happily married (mostly :) anyway) for 35 years and who met his wife in A.A.  We can socialize while making sure that socializing isn't the main focus of our attendance.