Help is the sunny side of control.
"Since defective relations with other human beings have nearly always been the immediate cause of our woes . . . The moment we ponder a twisted or broken relationship with another person our emotions go on the defensive."
"The first thing apparent was that this world and its people were quite wrong. To conclude that others were wrong was as far as most of us ever got. Though a situation had not been entirely our fault, we tried to disregard the other person entirely. Where were we to blame? The inventory was ours, not the other man's. We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick. Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick, too."
"Finally, we begin to see that all people . . . are to some extent emotionally ill as well as frequently wrong, and then we approach true tolerance and see what real love for our fellows actually means."
"Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us."
One of the journals I keep is reserved for transcribing sections of the Big Book and 12 & 12 that I find particularly helpful. So much of my books are underlined and highlighted at this point that I need to make a special provision for really good stuff. The above sections came from a surprisingly large cross-section of the literature and were relevant over several different Steps. I'd say The Founders were pretty sure we like to blame other people, places, and things for everything. I think Bill W gets a little pious about alcoholics from time to time, with all of the "other people are sick" talk, but he does make it clear that shifting the blame to others is not what we do.
Whenever I'm asked to chair a discussion meeting I pull out the Books. It's hard to screw up a meeting when I'm reading from the Books.
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