Children of Chaos, we had defiantly played with every brand of fire, only to emerge unharmed and, we think, wiser.
Confusion replaced serenity. Quite characteristically, we had gone all out in confusing the ends with the means. Once confused and baffled by the seeming futility of existence, they show the underlying reasons why they were making heavy going of life.
Children of Chaos would be an excellent name for a hard rock band.
There was a little confusion as to the exact format in our meeting today. We got the ship righted right quick. I like using the ship analogy to describe the course of my life: When I was drinking I used to sink a handful of My Life ships each week. Sometimes they sank slowly although it wasn't unusual for my ship to sink after I blew it up with a lot of TNT. Sometimes I sank a ship a day for weeks on end and sometimes I'd sink a ship in the morning then sink a couple more in the afternoon, just for the hell of it. Now my ships might take on water or list to the left or to the right or go backwards and people and things sometimes fall overboard, but I haven't sank an entire ship since I got sober. There have been ships that have had to be towed back into port but not a single one has gone down.
If A.A. started today would it have made it? An interesting question . . . We definitely are people with fixed, intransigent opinions on everything. I'm not sure we would be able to transcend all of the strong opinions in our hyper-polarized society. A tragic thought because here's a Program with a set of simple spiritual principles that can and has helped all kinds of people for 80 years.
I've been pondering non-verbal communication so the reading today - a historical overview of our Steps and Traditions - helped me sort out some of these thoughts. This, of course, is about the in-person meeting that I . . . you know . . . don't have to write about anymore because I'm clearly completely over any lingering resentments. I've been teasing my sponsor who attends that meeting . . . . kind of . . . by asking him how the "Republican"meeting is going. He understands the snark and isn't offended by it but I notice he often says that politics aren't discussed. It makes me think about all the ways I can get my message across without actually using words. For instance, I would never wear a T-Shirt with a picture of a political candidate to a meeting because I risk offending someone; maybe someone new who is looking for an excuse to reject A.A. hates this particular candidate. I wouldn't have to actually talk about the policies of this figure - it would be implied. I can roll my eyes, assume a disgusted facial expression, audibly exhale a little puff of annoyed breath, not wear a mask in a meeting that requires that one be worn - all very obvious and effective ways of communicating.
Messaging is a tricky subject.
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