Lousy, Stinking Lum-Fffttts

So I went and done saw this counselor woman yesterday.  A LMFT in my state, an honorific which sounds roughly akin to what I scream at some asshole who has cut me off on the 101: "Nice turn signal, you Lum-Fffttt!"

It was fine.  I was comfortable with her.  I don't feel fully repaired but then again I'm not the most patient man here in Vacation City and I have been at this, after all, for an entire 50 minutes.

I find that I have to fight my expectations whenever I do something new.  I think it should go a certain way.  I want to get to the end as fast as I can.  She spent some time asking me questions about the circumstances of my life as I sat there wondering when we were going to get to the solution.  I don't want to endure the process - I want to get to the end.  I want to see the result. The process is boring.  I didn't want to talk with this stranger who was charging me $2 a minute about what I did for work - it was an obscure, niche field that no one is familiar with.  I get the blank stare: "Oh."  This is why I'm prone to telling people I'm an animator: if they're not going to be able to ask me some pertinent f/up questions about a topic that interests me - and my work life is not one of those topics - then I might as well amuse myself by lying.

After about ten minutes she stopped and said: "You want to talk about the anxiety, don't you?"

I laughed.  When I came into The Program I wanted to get to work on Step 12.  Without the stopping drinking part - right in the door and right to the finish line.  I didn't want to do the work, mind you, preferring instead to simply start taking victory laps.  To me the preliminary bullshit is just so much fluff.  I told her that when I was visiting customers a lot of time they wanted to walk from the reception area right onto the factory floor so that I could get a look at the piece of machinery that I might be able to help them fix.  Factories are loud and chaotic so it was really helpful to ask a bunch of questions in a quiet environment so that I could see what I was going to be up against.  The customer wanted a fixed piece of machinery.  He was not interested in my prelim work.

I must admit that I'm pretty impressed with the wisdom of my fellow travelers in The Program. Those guys that know me well ask some pretty good questions.  A lot of the time yesterday I found myself saying: "Yeah, a buddy of mine brought that up."  I believe that when I'm trying to help someone work through something that my part is to ask a lot of good questions so that the individual might be able to see the situation from a different point of view, and then make - all on their own - an informed decision.

I say once again as far as your problems are concerned - I have no idea what you should do.