I'm Working on Intolerance . . . And Impatience. . . And Anger . . . And . . . And . . . And . . .

Recover: To get back; regain; to restore to good health.

Here's a phrase from our literature, written by a physician who was a great friend and supporter to our Fellowship,  describing our founder and some of the other early members: "This man and over a hundred others appear to have recovered."  The word "recovered" pops up in the literature from time to time in what I have always perceived as a pretty innocuous, non-controversial context.

I personally haven't analyzed the shit out of this particular concept.  In fact, I never really paid any attention to the word.  I personally believe that I'm an alcoholic and that if I drink again I'm going to have some problems, some serious problems.  I don't get too wrapped up in the semantics of what I was or what I am now, preferring to believe that me and alcohol are not cool together, no matter what label I put on anything.

 Here in Vacation City there's this weird little clique of people who make a big deal out of being "recovered."  They seem to imply that they're fixed or something.  They say: "I'm Seaweed and I'm a recovered alcoholic."  I never like people who add window dressing to their "I'm an alcoholic" statement.  It seems like a self-centered call for attention, an attempt to make their disease a little more serious or their recovery a little more remarkable.

Their very vocal ringleader spends a lot of time suggesting - in meetings, for god's sake - that a regular meeting-attenders simply substitute one type of addiction - drugs, alcohol - for another type of addiction - The Fellowship.  He tells us all that he's going to take a year off from attending meetings which he does every so often but not nearly often enough for my tastes.  I'd be remiss if I didn't admit I'd be happy if he took a decade or a century off from time to time.  I bet we'd get along just fine without his judgmental point of view.

Don't get me wrong - I'm glad he's sober and I frankly don't care what he believes about alcoholism.  We are, after all, a group of people who wouldn't ordinarily mix, and a lot of the strength of The Program comes from all of this diversity mixing it up and trying to get along.  Still, I wish he'd shut the fuck up.  To me it's like a guy who doesn't enjoy football going to a football game with a lot of guys who love football and bitching about football the whole time.  Don't go to the game or shut up already about it's not a baseball game.  It's a football game!

I think if you want a pass along a terrible message to the newcomer it would be "you're weak if you come to meetings."  That's a terrible message.  And the terrible action following up this terrible message is to disappear for a while with all of your experience, strength, and hope, such as it is, to let the rest of us mortals go it alone.  What if all of us with some time decided, very selfishly, to go off on our own for a while?  I'd hate to think what my recovery would have been like if everyone with some time decided that meetings were a waste of time.

But why listen to me.  Here's what one of our founders said concerning his regular attendance at meetings: "Because in so doing I'm paying my debt to the man who took time to pass it along to me."