Bit of a Chat

I had a bit of a chat yesterday with Spandex who's upset about a large societal issue over which he has no control.  I feel his pain - this large societal issue is sticking in my craw, too.  I spent some time afterwards composing an email that I forwarded to him, emphasizing the usual and time-tested coping techniques of The Program: don't try to predict the future, manage what is in your ability to manage, dwell on the positive and not the negative.  For some odd reason I have been able to take this stuff to heart more quickly than he has in the present circumstances.  I don't know why this is - god knows there are all kinds of weird, small things, much smaller than this episode, that I can't get past without a mighty effort.

So I've been pondering the balance thing again.  I want to use these coping techniques while simultaneously not being an idiot about the facts of life, either.  I can "accept" things a lot better and a lot faster when I'm getting my way.  If I break my leg I'm not quite as accepting.   And if you break your leg I'm a whole lot more willing to accept the event.  Most people don't want to hear my tired crap about acceptance when they're the ones struggling to accept something.

The point is to try to be positive without sticking your head in the sand.  It's OK to be upset about things especially if they're upsetting things.

I recall vividly a story this sales manager guy shared in a meeting when I was trying to get sober. Proactive to a fault, he was always studying and reading and trying to do what he could to be more successful.  He starts reading all of these books about assertiveness.  He's just going to get you do to what he wants by being enthusiastic and in charge.  Then he moved on to books about positive thinking whereby he began slaughtering people with cheery good will.  He's on the golf course one day, playing abominably, and projecting an air of assertive positivity.  After several holes of this tiring routine, one of his business colleagues says: "What's the matter with you?  You do know you're in the sand trap, right?"