I'm in the midst of a good run of trudging through my daily guided meditation practice. I'm tempted to say sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, but I've been schooled in the There's No Such Thing As Bad Meditation philosophy. Let's say instead that sometimes it's satisfying and sometimes it's not, although I always feel better for having made the effort. It's like exercise that way - it's rarely great and it's rarely awful and it's always good for me. Mostly it's just exercise.
One of the messages I hear repeatedly is that the mind is made to think and that it's hard to just shut it off. Moreover, that's not the idea - we don't try to force anything or stop anything or strain or concentrate mightily. This isn't an exercise in yet more alcoholic control. Rather perceive that the stream of thinking is ongoing chatter. It's like the updates running at the bottom of a cable sports channel - usually we're listening to some dufus talk and not staring fixedly at the banner going by. We're aware that it's there but it's not the focus. Every now and then something will catch our attention and we'll quit listening to all of the talking. Sometimes we stay on the feed for a while - sometimes it's an instant, then we're back to the interview or commentary. The point is that it's not a bad thing or a good thing - it's a feed, a stream of information.
I've heard this described as white noise or background noise. If I turn on my radio really loud while I'm in between stations the hiss is really irritating. As I turn the volume down it becomes easier to ignore the noise - I'm still aware of it but I'm not focusing on it. That's my understanding of how I should view the thinking that goes on when I'm trying not to pay attention to the thinking. I shouldn't try to stop it or control it but I need to move away from long reveries of any particular thought. More of a "well, there goes that thought" and then back to the focus being on my breathing or the feel of my body or the background noise in my environment.
Does it sound at all like I know what I'm talking about? Because I'm mostly clueless.
Monday, September 5, 2016
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