This and That, Stupid Stuff, Mostly

I'm not going to go to my men's meeting tonight.  I can't get past those quotes from the religious book that battered me in my youth.  I would be very upset if the group took this decision with anything more than a big, collective: "Meh."

I'm still dancing around with the generalized anxiety despite the fact that everything in my life is totally fine.  The only source that I can come up with is the death of these two major figures in my life.  I keep wanting to pick up the phone to call Ken to tell him that I'm still struggling with the fact that Ken is dead, and I can't tell you how much I wanted to call my mom when I had that chest cold just to hear her assure me that it was, in fact, some terrible new disease.  I think I'm mad that they died without my permission.  I know that I'm mad that I have to experience discomfort in my life, especially discomfort that I didn't bring upon myself.  I'm much better at advising other people how to deal with discomfort when I'm not personally going through any.

I have jury duty next week.  I'm going to assume you know how excited I am about this.  I'm sure I'm going to get asked to help adjudicate a case involving violent drug cartel members who are going to come to my house and threaten to kill me and my wife and all of my houseplants if I don't vote - you know - the right way.  It has taken us a long time to get our houseplants up and running.  That would be the real tragedy.

I drink too much coffee.  I'm sure this has nothing to do with my generalized anxiety.  Right out of chute, still in my jammies, I slam down a cup and a half of a stimulant that I don't need in the least.