Summer Atire

I'm not much of a T-shirt guy in the summer.  I wear a T-shirt in the winter because a gentleman ALWAYS wears a T-shirt.  But in the summer guys with pecs and abs and six packs, whatever those things are, can wear tight fitting T-shirts.  Guys like me look a lot better in clothes that blouse and bag and billow.

That being said, I do have a few items that I trot out when the weather gets hot.  My favorite shirt is deep purple color and is emblazoned with the phrase: "Get Away From Me."  Some people think this is funny until I tell them that I don't mean it as a joke.

I wore this particular model to a meeting yesterday.  I stood next to a good friend for the closing prayer, draping my arm around his shoulder instead of holding his hand.  A new guy came over after the meeting and said: "That was great - I'm looking over at you in that shirt with your arm around someone."  A guy who knows me pretty well said: "That's Seaweed - always sending mixed messages."  It's not what I say - it's what I do.

Another favorite of mine says: "Ask Me About My Vow Of Silence."  A surprising number of earth people don't get the joke.  They ask me about my vow of silence and I have to explain that if I had indeed taken a vow of silence that I would have trouble explaining it to them.  Drunks, however, get it immediately, the cynical bastards.

Third on my greatest hits list is "It's All Fun and Games Until The Flying Monkeys Attack."  Go watch The Wizard of Oz if you don't get this reference, or try to replicate a particularly potent mix of Colt 45, LSD, and nitrous oxide that I used in college to simulate a disturbingly real seeming attack from flying monkeys and a whole hell of a lot of other disturbing images that I really don't want to go into right now.

 I have always regretted not buying the model that proclaimed: "I'm Big In Europe."